Reflections of an evening...

So here I sit contemplating why on earth I don’t just park my butt and enjoy myself when all of my family is out for the evening and I am left alone. I love evenings like these, but in my head I plan them differently. I plan a great movie, milkshake or a piece of cake or whatever my fancy may be for snacking, sit back and watch a movie my dlb just wouldn’t like. Alas, it NEVER happens! I fold laundry, (yes right out of the dryer), put away laundry, wash my floor, tidy the main living spaces, etc. etc. By the time I realize I haven’t even begun to do what I wanted, it’s time for dlb to come home and my “dream evening” is gone.

Please don’t get me wrong, I love having my family home, but sometimes it just works out this way. Jade is gone, C-man works and I am left alone. I actually look forward to these nights if they are few and far between.

Tonight it struck me that I look forward to the idea of a “dream evening”; perhaps it’s the dream that keeps me from missing them too much. Heaven knows that my dlb used to work so many evenings a few years back, I had begun to resent him. I hated those evenings of loneliness, fights with Jade, a silent house and going to bed by myself. Even looking back these thoughts brings tears to my eyes and a bitterness to my mouth. I became so bitter I wouldn’t even want him to come some nights. Now it’s the opposite. I can’t wait for him to come home, I can’t wait to see him and I can’t wait to go to bed with him…..:)

For all this I’m thankful. God does wonders to a heart if you want Him to.
C-man and I are both thankful for this change and nothing but pray, a change of heart (thanks to prayer) and hard work got us here.